Autism and a sense of humor

Humor helps build interpersonal connections, increases the sense of belonging, and helps relieve tension, stress, and anger. People with an optimistic approach to life who bring joy and playfulness are often well-liked in social settings. We often choose partners and friends based on a compatible sense of humor, and it has been shown to be a key element in harmonious relationships.

The myth is that autistic individuals are not humorous or lack a sense of humor. There are many well-known comedians who are themselves neurodivergent (I dare say, all those who are funny to our neurodivergent community, such as Robin Williams, Jim Carrey, Ricky Gervais, Amy Wong, …).

Autistic individuals often have a sense of humor that may be considered random or even inappropriate compared to their neurotypical peers. They express their humor in different ways and often don’t “get” others’ attempts at humor.

Due to the impact of autism on social skills, some things may not seem funny to them as they do to others. Due to rigid, black-and-white thinking, they may not be able to tell if someone is teasing them or being serious. This can lead to isolation, discomfort, and hurt feelings from an early age.

I remember when I was taught in elementary school to “respond” to jokes at my expense. I never mastered it because I couldn’t determine the boundary between humor that wouldn’t hurt someone’s feelings and outright insult. Even if I tried to joke that way, I would feel immense discomfort not knowing if the joke had gone too far.

Another thing that was a huge challenge for me were short “riddles” or jokes, which I had a hard time remembering, and even harder time passing on or retelling.

Here are some examples of ones I didn’t understand:

“Come home late, not early.” (My grandfather wanted me to come before midnight from going out).

When Chuck Norris laughs, everyone laughs.” (Chuck Norris is dangerous, so not laughing at his joke might upset him).

Almost all blonde jokes, for example: “Why did the blonde open the milk in the store? It says ‘open here.'” (I just don’t find them that funny).

On the other hand, I would laugh uncontrollably at cartoons, wordplay, and as I got older, at sexual jokes and dark humor. I love stand-up comedy because it often brings everyday challenges and the absurdity of some human interactions closer, and it has helped me laugh at myself and make jokes at my own expense.

I will introduce you to the different types of humor, the connection between autism and humor, and how to overcome the challenges.

The four most common challenges autistic people face with humor:

There are some general differences in the ways autistic individuals use and interpret humor compared to neurotypical people.

Autistic individuals tend to focus on details and don’t “see the forest for the trees” – meaning they are prone to ignoring the context of information, which makes it harder to understand jokes.

1. Laughter as a social interaction

One of the reasons why autistic people are thought to lack a sense of humor is that they laugh less than neurotypical people as part of social interaction. Many autistic individuals do not enjoy laughing just for the sake of social interaction if they don’t find something genuinely funny. An example of this is when a whole group starts laughing or an entire audience in a cinema laughs, but an autistic person doesn’t join in if they don’t find something sincerely amusing.

Since the forms of humor that I had difficulty understanding were dominant, I would often be perceived as “stiff,” “overly sensitive,” “uptight,” “boring,” or “weird.” As a result, I laughed at jokes I didn’t understand as part of masking.

2. Random laughing

An interesting characteristic present in the neurodivergent population is random laughter (suddenly noticing something or remembering something in the middle of a serious conversation). This can turn into a full-on laughing fit.

In my case, I remember a scene from the show “The Nanny” where CC says, “I’ve never seen something so ugly,” and the butler places a serving tray in front of her, where she sees her own reflection, and says, “Boo-ga boo-ga boo-ga!” That scene resulted in me uncontrollably laughing for the next ten minutes. Everyone stared at me, confused, waiting for me to calm down.

Sometimes a random scene from the past or from a movie/show pops into my mind during a serious conversation, and I end up hurting the other person if I can’t hold back my laughter, especially when I explain the reason for laughing, and the other person doesn’t find it equally funny.

3. Nervous laughter

A particularly unusual but common phenomenon among the neurodivergent population is nervous laughter, which occurs in very inappropriate situations (such as when someone falls, trips, or at a funeral).

This happens due to difficulties with emotional self-regulation. Nervous laughter can be a way of managing emotions to prevent being overwhelmed by anxiety. The uncomfortable consequence is that the laughter tends to increase as anxiety rises.

4. Misunderstanding jokes

Some autistic people understand and make “traditional” jokes.

Autistic individuals may struggle with certain types of humor because they interpret things literally. While they may understand the point of a funny anecdote or something visually or physically funny, abstract forms of humor can be challenging. They simply don’t find popular types or joke structures amusing and tend to connect more with the currently popular meme and gif style of humor due to visual processing.

Types of humor and their connection to autism

Humor can generally be divided into two dimensions – positive and negative, simplified as one that boosts self-confidence and mood, and one that involves teasing or even ridiculing oneself or others.

Experts have divided types of humor into ten categories.

1.Physical humor or slapstick

    This type of humor involves physical expression of humor. It includes everything from funny facial expressions, stumbling, falling, or various gags. Examples of this are pantomime, Charlie Chaplin, Mr. Bean, A je to, and cartoons like Tom & Jerry that we grew up with. A more extreme version of this is the Jackass shows.

    2. Sexual humor

    This type of humor relies on the use of numerous sexual references. It is generally not liked by everyone and is more popular among the male population, especially the younger demographic. An example of this is a situation on the dance floor where we were instructed to “hold him firmly” (referring to the partner in a dance hold).

    3. Making jokes at one’s own expense

    This type of humor is perfected by stand-up comedians, who often use themselves as the subject of their jokes. It is present in the neurodivergent population and can sometimes be misunderstood as trivializing our challenges or suggesting that “everyone has ADHD/autism.” However, this style of humor is often connecting for our community, where we can relate to our daily challenges in a humorous way. It allows us to laugh at ourselves, build camaraderie, and break down stigmas by showing that we can still find joy and humor in our experiences.

    4. Apsurd humor

    This type of humor draws on elements of the surreal, illogical, absurd, and even grotesque. It’s about completely silly jokes focused on unreal, impossible, or nonsensical situations. It can be a favorite among the autistic population because it is very visual. A prime example of this type of humor is Monty Python.

    5. Ability to improvise

    When you spontaneously respond humorously even in the most serious situations, it means you have a good grasp of improvisational humor. It refers to the ability to turn almost any situation into something funny and humorous, which is a reflection of high intelligence.

    6. Sarcasam

    This type of humor is the least understood within the autistic population. Closely related to parody, it usually involves mocking to make the other side laugh, where what is said often has the complete opposite meaning of what is meant. It relies on irony and is often used with body language that doesn’t match its meaning. People who are prone to this type of humor are often very intelligent and eloquent, but are not always well-liked in social settings. An example of a neurodivergent character who uses this style of humor is Chandler Bing from Friends.

    The reasons why this style of humor is difficult for the autistic population to understand are misunderstandings of social cues and black-and-white thinking. Personally, it took me time to master sarcasm. Today, I love it when non-verbal communication is emphasized enough that I can recognize it’s sarcasm, not dry humor.

    7. Word play

    Playing with the multiple meanings of certain words or combinations of words is an example of this style of humor. My example is a dog named Tyr, whom I called “Tyrorist” (terrorist) because he was annoying the other dogs. Other popular examples include the word “hangry” (hungry + angry), often used as a joke in the neurodivergent community.

    8. Black humor

    If you’re someone who enjoys dark humor, it means you like morbid jokes and jokes with an unhappy ending. It is often associated with high intelligence and is frequently a popular style of humor among neurodivergent individuals, especially those with familial trauma.

    9. Dry humor

    Dry humor is often very literal. It draws attention to everyday situations and highlights their funny aspects by emphasizing the obvious. Saying something in a factual manner, which is already clear to everyone, and presenting it humorously can make a lot of sense to someone who thinks very logically.

    If you are someone inclined to dry humor, you are able to joke while remaining dead serious. You won’t show emotions, and what you have to say, you will say monotonously and seriously, with complete indifference, often leaving the impression of naivety.

    Sometimes, autistic individuals can be perceived as joking when they say something serious. Saying something funny with a serious face can be confusing for the same reason as sarcasm.

    10. Satire

    Satire is often infused with sarcasm and tends to be literal, dry, and somewhat dark in style. An example is two mice next to a mousetrap with cheese, where one mouse says, “You might want to consider changing your diet.” This vivid and literal style of humor can also be one of the favorites of individuals on the spectrum.

    How to improve your sense of humor with autism?

    The first step is to cognitively understand the different types of humor, i.e., what the intention and what is funny in different styles.

    Since we often lean towards negatively-oriented humor styles, it’s a good idea to incorporate some positively-oriented styles. Help them in their relationships to find common ground in funny life situations. Assist those close to them in understanding, pay attention to their humor, and react accordingly—even if they don’t “get it.”

    A good rule when communicating with an autistic person is to ensure that your body language and words align, and to explain the meaning of the joke. As an autistic person, it has meant a lot for me to communicate the need for clearer signs of sarcasm through nonverbal communication, such as tone of voice or exaggerated facial expressions. My brother, who has Asperger’s, has a strategy when he’s not sure—he politely asks, “That was sarcasm, right?”

    Although I don’t encourage masking in order to be more likable or to fit in, constantly standing out by not participating in laughter as a social interaction due to misunderstanding jokes and context can lead to exclusion and isolation. My brother benefited from sitcoms with live audiences because they gradually helped him master recognizing different types of humor through the background laughter during jokes.

    Conclusion

    Do people with autism have a sense of humor? Of course – just like neurotypical people.

    Just like in other areas of life, autistic individuals have their own, fresh, and unique perspective and way of viewing the world, and they certainly have much to offer in the field of humor.

    Also, remember, it’s not that you don’t have a good sense of humor, but rather that some jokes simply aren’t funny.

    Mireault, G. C., Crockenberg, S. C., Sparrow, J. E., Cousineau, K., Pettinato, C., & Woodard, K. (2015). Laughing matters: Infant humor in the context of parental affect. Journal of experimental child psychology, 136, 30–41. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jecp.2015.03.012

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