{"id":3262,"date":"2025-01-10T15:01:12","date_gmt":"2025-01-10T15:01:12","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/lea.adriabox.com\/2025\/01\/10\/adhd-autism-and-emotional-self-regulation\/"},"modified":"2025-01-10T18:56:18","modified_gmt":"2025-01-10T18:56:18","slug":"adhd-autism-and-emotional-self-regulation","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/leaivanciczic.com\/en\/2025\/01\/10\/adhd-autism-and-emotional-self-regulation\/","title":{"rendered":"ADHD, autism, and emotional self-regulation"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

The biggest challenge in starting to work with emotions as a neurodivergent person with ADHD and\/or autism is that they often feel like a tangled, undefined mess. Through practice and safely being with and staying present with our emotions, we allow ourselves to increasingly connect with them, feel them, embrace them, and hear their message. However, the first step is trusting<\/strong> that our emotions won\u2019t be dismissed or rejected.That it\u2019s safe to feel and express them. Because, if you were a child of emotionally immature parents or a neurodivergent person, being in touch with your emotions often meant guilt, shame, and rejection. “Little girls don\u2019t get angry.”“Why are you crying again?”“What kind of coward are you?”“Come on, it\u2019s not that bad, you\u2019re overreacting!”“Don\u2019t get too excited, good things never last long.”<\/em><\/p>\n\n

“Are you still hung up on that? Just let it go already!”<\/em><\/p>\n\n

Emotional self-regulation<\/strong> is the ability to manage the intensity and duration of emotions. Two well-known directions of emotional regulation are brain-to-body (top-down<\/em>) and body-to-brain (bottom-up<\/em>). Among the neurodivergent population, bottom-up<\/em> processing is most common, including how emotions are processed.What does this look like? <\/p>\n\n

Imagine the brain as an orchestra. Top-down<\/em><\/strong> processing is like a conductor \u2013 they have a plan, a score, and guide the orchestra toward a harmonious performance. This type of processing starts from our expectations, knowledge, and goals<\/strong>. For example, if someone says to you, “Look at the clouds, it looks like it\u2019s going to rain,” your brain processes the clouds through that expectation and starts looking for signs of rain, even if they aren\u2019t there. <\/p>\n\n

On the other hand, bottom-up<\/em><\/strong> processing is like the unexpected sound of a violin in the orchestra that grabs your attention \u2013 something external and immediate captures your focus and leads it. This processing comes from the senses, from stimuli in the environment<\/strong>, regardless of your expectations. For example, as you walk through a park, you\u2019re suddenly overwhelmed by the scent of a flower \u2013 your brain processes the smell instantly, without any plan or warning. <\/p>\n\n

How does this manifest in neurodivergent people with ADHD and\/or autism? Bottom-up<\/em> processing is often dominant, as if the entire orchestra is playing louder than the conductor. This means that sensory stimuli \u2013 light, sounds, smells \u2013 can overwhelm the brain because there\u2019s no \u201cfilter\u201d deciding what\u2019s important and what isn\u2019t.For instance, in a store, while others might be thinking about what to buy (top-down<\/em>), a neurodivergent person may be captivated by the colorful shelves and variety of choices, the buzz of people, or the strong scent of soap (bottom-up<\/em>). <\/p>\n\n

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How to emotionally (self)regulate in a few steps?<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n

I like to describe my approach through the slogan “Stop, Breathe, Let Go, Dance.”<\/strong> This slogan is immortalized in a tattoo on my left forearm, which serves as a daily reminder of the core principles by which I live and teach my clients through my work: (self)support, focus through presence, boundaries, and creativity.<\/strong><\/em> <\/p>\n\n

Stop<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n

Understanding your own subconscious beliefs and values<\/strong> is a key part of the emotional self-regulation process. Emotions stem from unconscious and unspoken expectations<\/em> about a future situation or unmet expectations from the past. <\/p>\n\n

For example, when you recall a past argument with an ex-partner, the anger you feel now isn\u2019t<\/strong> the anger from that time, but rather anger about the unmet expectations you now<\/strong> realize you had back then. Similarly, fear of public speaking is connected to your imagined expectations of the situation, which you\u2019re now aware of but might not have been present in that actual situation. <\/p>\n\n

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When you become aware of the belief behind an emotion, you might think that your emotion is “irrational” or “meaningless.” However, no emotion is undesirable; each one carries its own meaning and function. <\/em><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n

A significant tool in this process could be the “Emotion Wheel,” which you can download here<\/strong> as a PDF template with guidelines on how to use it daily.<\/p>\n\n

I often use practical tools like homework assignments \u2013 writing down beliefs, defining values, keeping activity or gratitude journals. These tools help us consciously connect with our inner world, recognize emotional triggers, and create space for change. <\/p>\n\n

Breathe<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n

The next step in emotional self-regulation is to become aware<\/strong> of how the emotion affects your body, movement, and breath<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n

The technique I use is called a body scan<\/em>, where you focus your attention on scanning your body. You can do this by imagining a flashlight illuminating different parts of your body, from head to toe, or in reverse if that feels more natural to you. <\/p>\n\n

What I often notice is that when I ask my clients to pay attention to their breathing, they immediately start changing it. However, the point of this step isn\u2019t to change the breath, but to increase awareness and amplify the automatic reaction<\/em>. <\/p>\n\n

For example, if you clench your jaw when you’re angry and then immediately try to relax it, you won\u2019t realize how uncomfortable the clenching is until you notice it, stay with it, and slightly intensify it.<\/p>\n\n

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Changing movements or the rhythm of your breathing doesn\u2019t release the emotion; it suppresses it<\/strong>.<\/em><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n

These unconscious actions over time can develop psychosomatic symptoms, such as teeth grinding during sleep, digestive issues, skin inflammations, arthritis, stiff necks, headaches, etc.<\/p>\n\n

Notice if you quickly brush your teeth, then keep brushing them a few moments faster. If you hold your breath, hold it a few moments longer. If your shoulders are raised, raise them and hold them longer, then move on to the next step. <\/p>\n\n

Let it go<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n

Did you know that the very English word “emotion” hides the meaning e-motion = energy in motion<\/em>? It’s no wonder that there\u2019s a rise in body-oriented therapeutic approaches and practices aimed at releasing old, blocked emotions in the body. <\/p>\n\n

After you become aware of and process the emotional charge of an emotion, it\u2019s time to release it through breathing and counter-movements. This step in emotional self-regulation helps calm the nervous system. <\/p>\n\n

If you\u2019ve noticed jaw tension, exhale and make a movement as if you’re yawning, shaking out your lower jaw. If you\u2019ve noticed holding your breath, now breathe deeply and evenly, following your own rhythm from your belly. If you\u2019ve noticed neck stiffness, allow it to move in all directions. <\/p>\n\n

Dance<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n

In addition to movement and awareness of emotions, what specifically helps in emotional self-regulation for our neurodivergent population are \u2013 creativity, tenderness, and laughter<\/strong><\/p>\n\n

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Creativity<\/strong> allows us to express emotions in ways that come naturally to us \u2013 through drawing, writing, dancing, music, or any form of creation. When we channel what we\u2019re feeling into the creative process, we give emotions space to leave our bodies, but also to transform into something that empowers us. Sometimes it\u2019s simple things \u2013 like coloring with colors that match our mood or making things with our hands, which calms us. For me, those things are dancing, drawing, painting, and building with Legos. <\/p>\n\n

Tenderness<\/strong> toward ourselves is important when we forget that we are not \u201ctoo much\u201d or \u201cwrong\u201d for the intensity of emotions we feel. It supports self-acceptance \u2013 both on days when we feel scattered and out of sync and on days when we\u2019re proud of ourselves. It might be a gentle touch, a calming blanket, or simply a phrase like, “It\u2019s okay to feel how I feel, I\u2019m not too much or wrong for feeling this way.” If you\u2019d like to work on your relationship with tenderness toward yourself at your own pace through short lessons, check out the online program \u201cEmbrace Yourself<\/strong> \u2013 from self-criticism to self-acceptance\u201d here<\/a>. <\/p>\n\n

And finally, there\u2019s laughter<\/strong> \u2013 our secret ally. Although emotions can be heavy, humor often helps to lighten them. It could be a funny scene from your favorite movie, stand-up comedy, a video of a cat falling off the couch, or simply the moment when we say to ourselves, \u201cHey, today I really feel like a character in some comedy or a Mexican soap opera!\u201d Laughter brings us back into our bodies, relaxes the nervous system, and reminds us that even though life can be chaotic at times, there\u2019s always room for joy. <\/p>\n\n

By combining these elements \u2013 creativity, tenderness, and laughter \u2013 we create space for healing in a way that supports our neurodivergent nature. These are not tools that \u201cfix\u201d our emotions, but connect us to ourselves so we can feel our unique rhythm and find balance within it. <\/p>\n\n

To conclude<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n

As a person with ADHD and\/or autism, you may often find that your heightened sensitivity interferes with emotional self-regulation, especially when external circumstances don\u2019t allow you to immediately experience and process that emotion.<\/p>\n\n

However, high sensitivity is not just a challenge \u2013 it\u2019s also a strength. Such sensitivity to details can mean that you notice beauty or patterns others might never see, like subtle nuances in someone’s tone of voice or the incredible shape of a cloud passing through the sky on an ordinary day. This makes us unique. <\/p>\n\n

So, top-down<\/em> is when the brain leads, and bottom-up<\/em> is when the environment leads. And in the dance between these two processes lies the true magic of our thinking. <\/p>\n\n

The good news is that the top-down<\/em> processing mode can be practiced through coaching and psychotherapy.<\/p>\n\n

My mission is to support you in finding the inner peace, happiness, and fulfillment you deserve. No matter what your specific needs or challenges are, together we can work on building a healthier relationship with yourself and others, breaking free from old patterns, and living a life that is tailored to you. <\/p>\n\n

In collaboration with you, I focus on an individualized approach tailored to your needs and priorities.<\/p>\n\n

My approach integrates a range of therapeutic techniques and practices, including Gestalt psychotherapy, transactional analysis, NLP, EMDR, logotherapy, psychosomatic psychology, and play therapy. My work is grounded in trust and safety, providing you with support and a secure space to express your feelings and thoughts without judgment. <\/em><\/p>\n\n

If you\u2019d like me to support you with the challenges you\u2019re facing, contact me here<\/strong><\/a> and let\u2019s begin together. I look forward to meeting and growing with you! <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The biggest challenge in starting to work with emotions as a neurodivergent person with ADHD and\/or autism is that they often feel like a tangled, undefined mess. Through practice and safely being with and staying present with our emotions, we allow ourselves to increasingly connect with them, feel them, embrace them, and hear their message. […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":3212,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"off","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[66],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3262","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-adhd-in-adults"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/leaivanciczic.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3262","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/leaivanciczic.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/leaivanciczic.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/leaivanciczic.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/leaivanciczic.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3262"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/leaivanciczic.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3262\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3263,"href":"https:\/\/leaivanciczic.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3262\/revisions\/3263"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/leaivanciczic.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/3212"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/leaivanciczic.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3262"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/leaivanciczic.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3262"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/leaivanciczic.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3262"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}